Ok so I am a person that regularly writes. Yeah yeah... laugh. In school I am in a class called Creative Writing which involves writing on a regular basis, apparently I have a knack for writing poetry. Anyway My teacher had read a poem a had written and thinks I should submit it to the advanced creative writers deal. My topic was something I love. And it is free verse. So yeah it is a love poem... Whats your opinion? Think it has what it takes to be nationally submitted? Give some honest feedback thanks. Love Lasts Forever The most beautiful thing in the world Isn’t an angel from the heavens above It’s a goddess from out of this world An angel of the universe Goddess of love, beauty, and attraction With her force of sincerity She pulls me in with constant interaction And her angelic personality She keeps my mind in total satisfaction Her smile is equivalent to gravity Pulls and locks you in Never letting go The hold she has is never ending The desire to to have her in your arms Is like a science fantasy All the want, desire, and anticipation Locked in the void of a blackhole Sucking you in for eternity Never letting you free In a endless cloud of anticipation Of total mind blowing beauty The angelic goddess Heart so pure, heart so attractive She’s the insight of my desire An angelic goddess of unmatched proportions She will never make my heart retire With her beauty so exasperating That everything about her sets my eyes afire In a never ending cycle Of anticipation, desire, and attraction She’s the definition of personification The very essence she gives off Great importance That shall never be passed up Even if times get hard Events get unbearable I’ll be there, arms open wide To take her in, when she’s feeling down She’s the angel of the heavens Goddess of the universe I’ll be there when you need me With my arms open wide I’ll be there to hug you when times get rough I’ll sure as hell be there To hug you close, to pull you close To show you that I am worthy Of wiping away your tears That you shed on my shoulder When I’m allowed to hug you close To pull you close, very close By wrapping my arms around you Never letting you go I love you. Feedback would be great. Thank you! PS: I was not sure as to which thread to post this in. So I went with music due to both being writing related.
I loved it, dude. I'm a songwriter myself, and I was totally digging this all the way through. I get this Claudio Sanchez-type vibe from it. You do good work. Might inspire me to share some of what I've written.
